TOUR DIARY PT1

So after a near 4 month break we had a 20 minute rehearsal ,saturday morning, before heading to southhampton , in the zoot mobile, for the first show of the tour with 65 days of static . No cobwebs in the red knickers though ,we played a banger then celebrated by smashing a bottle of jacks face clean off . Aftershow was spent with some fans at their huge house in bournmouth and after a round of cartoon zoots and another bourbon shake or 3 i was asked by one of the guys if i would be able to breath with one lung!!! the dude was sat looking down on me in my kip bag so i slyly grabbed my keys and placed them ready to attack his jugular if the bastard tried owt funny!.....

So if that wasn't enough to freak out ,even the magpie , look at what we woke up to in the morning .....

The morning after was spent eating eggs ,drinking the hangover off and doing japanese press over the phone , im pretty sure they asked me the same question at least 6 times and it involved oasis and new order but i couldnt tell you what it was about so i waffled on about burgers, cum and pokemon

Norwich we played in a church and to be honest i reckon the crowd were all virgins awaiting a piece of jesus bread and a penance but those are 2 things we can't provide , instead we chucked our gear all over em instead of loading off in a regular fashion.

So here we are in oxford hurting from bullet bourbon and sucking on vocalzones like they are fresh erect nipples and contemplating food , although last time i was on this street Ian brown recommended a jamaican take away where i was served a goat carcass on a pile of manky rice so maybe we will sniff out the papa johns for a pizza party ...... ohh and im gunna visit that mad rasta pub in a bit

but who gives a shit.......